With the New Year came something VERY new to me...I have always been quit strong in my optimistic outlook on things that happen to Me in life. Some pretty drastic things have happen and I always stood strong on my faith and optimistic ways of finding strength.
Come New Year I suddenly was feeling things that I had not let myself feel. Some were past hurts, disappointments, grief, love, fears,...........I was totally lost in all this feeling that I was almost unlivable to my children,Mark, and friends . I had an insecure, scared, lost and very troubled couple of months. The more hurt and scared and insecure I got,the more I was closing doors to everyone except Mark and my kids. But I wasn't really getting what I was needing. Mark had went away on a trip at a time when I needed his security which left me feeling even more lost and scared. I didn't understand the feelings and my inability to find my usual optimistic self. My mom, my spiritual rock(next to God)kept talking to me and telling me to listen to praise music and read. On ( a ) saturday she had to get me out of bed at 3:00 in the afternoon and had me go out with her just to get out.
I must face my obsicles and let hurt to be felt and recover instead of let them be shelved .
I have listened to alot of praise and read a few books and my bible to find Me,a new me .
I have found a new love for my husband, my kids have always been my joy. Cheyenne wrote a quote and posted it by the computer "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass.....it's about learning to dance in the rain." of course she has wit to toss you for a loop too. She came to me one day and asked what was wrong..... I replied I seemed to forget how to dance in the rain. ......she then replies "oh mom, just make it up, it don't matter" ........and walked away like there ya go, all fixed. Made me smile knowing that's me I'm listening to. Kyler he just walks up and hugs you full force no words necessary .
I found Love in my husband, joy in my children,faith in my mother, support and concern in my dad and stepmom, and patience in all of you who saw something wasn't right and offered your support.
I HAVE joy, I HAVE love, I HAVE faith , I HAVE friends that love me, I HAVE an awsome niece and nephew, I HAVE security, ...............
Patti is back .
I think thats why the drama EVERYTHING was so awsome. It reminded me that Jesus will jump in if I am doing everything I can to get to him.
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4 comments:
Oh Patti...I'm crying. I am so glad you posted this. I was so concerned and was praying and waiting for God to work through you. He is our refuge!! Thanks for opening up.
Love love love you.
Thanks Patti for sharing this. You have really shared from your heart. I'm glad you are back. I rejoice with you.
Oh Patti, I have been praying for you!! Thanks for sharing about this. May you experience even MORE freedom, MORE joy and MORE favor from God for you and your family.
OX
Holly
I am so glad you are back.
I am crying like the others as I read this over again.
Cheyenne and Kyler sure are special, as are you.
Cheyennes words can be so simple and also very articulate and Kyler well I love his hugs too.
Thank you for sharing this very personal story. I believe we have all been there and may be there again at some point in our lives and this post is truly inspirational.
Blessings to you always
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